


Enough For Now

by hana_haru



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 06:23:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21011210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hana_haru/pseuds/hana_haru
Summary: Fhridiad is theirs once more but whatever joy Ingrid feels is quickly overshadowed by her own personal fears. Sylvain's disappearance only seems to compound them.Loosely inspired on a few of Ingrid’s supports where she mentions her weakening resolve to remain as a knight and her desire to protect those she loves.





	Enough For Now

At the sound of the trumpet’s victory song, the pegasus knight dropped her lance, watching fall to the earth. Her gaze turned upward to the sky, “After five years, we did it...” she whispered to herself. The citizens were cheering, and rightfully so for the Holy Kingdom was theirs once more. 

Yet the feeling of emptiness began to take hold of Ingrid as she flew towards the castle where the others had gathered. No, she would not let those doubts plague her today. Today was a day of celebration.

"Ingrid!" Mercedes shouted, out of breath. Her face red and painted with worry as she ran up to Ingrid. The others were already gathered at the castle counting the wounded and dead. "Have you seen Sylvain anywhere? He hasn't reported back yet."

Ingrid's heart stopped, "He's missing?" she thought. Her silence worried Mercedes even more so. Ingrid smiled softly, doing her best to hide her own fears. 

Gently, Ingrid took her friend’s hands in hers, "Don't worry about him, I'm sure he's just distracted with some pretty girl and forgot the time," she squeezed them in an attempt to offer some form of reassurance. Looking around, the others were already so busy taking care of the wounded. "I'll go find him okay? If he comes back send ask Annette to send a signal up for me."

Climbing a top her pegasus, Ingrid took off in search of her old friend. "What happened to _ 'stay where I can see you’ _?’” For all his talk of depending on her, he’d just left her behind to face those monstrous creatures alone with only his small battalion as backup. When she’d find him, she would give him the scolding he deserved for worrying everyone like this.

Fhridiad was a sad sight to behold. Corpses littered the streets, rubble remained where walls once stood, fire from that strange device Corneila used had burned down so many homes. It would be years before the capital would be restored to its former glory. 

That empty feeling she pushed down was bubbling up again. It started at Gronder. There was so much death there. Killing a nameless soldier from the Empire was one thing, but to strike her lance against former classmates? Something after that battle unlocked something in Ingrid. Now all she could see in battle was the atrocities war forced people to commit. What was so noble and virtuous about war in the first place?

As a child all she longed for was to be a knight like in those stories Glenn had told her. Romantic battles of legend, tales of valiant knights. Yes, her only desire was to live for the ideals her first love died upholding. She wanted to be someone he could be proud of. War was nothing like those stories she realized. So what was she fighting for now? 

Her wavering resolve was a problem for another day. Hours had passed since her search began and with no signal from the castle, Sylvain was still nowhere to be found. Her mind wandered back to the piles of bodies that had littered the streets. Could his body be among them? 

“No,” Ingrid shook her head, “He promised that wouldn’t go off and die without me around.” Her calls grew desperate now. "Sylvain!" she shouted, “Where are you?!”

Fear clouded her thoughts, all she could think about was how mean she had been to Sylvain. Where could he be?

As the sun began to dip below the horizon a memory of the past came up. One summer day when they were children. How Sylvain, Felix and Ingrid stole Dimitri away to a hill outside the city to play. For one afternoon, they forgot the burdens they all would carry. It was such a small moment compared to the other events in their lives, but there was nothing else that could come to mind. There was just no way that Sylvain was gone. 

Her mind wandered to Glenn again. All the promises they made before he went off to Duscur, never to be fulfilled. After all these years, she thought she was stronger now but at the simple thought that another so dear to her could be gone, she crumbled. She’d kill him for making her worry so much.

Thousands of thoughts flooded her mind as she raced beyond the city limits. But there were mostly regrets. Most of her memories of Sylvain involved her yelling at him or cleaning up after one of his many ‘dalliances’. There weren’t many good memories honestly. It was a regret of hers. If he really was gone, there would be no more chances to make good ones.

As she approached the hill Ingrid first saw his horse grazing alone, then she caught a glimpse of Sylvain lying on the ground under the shade of a tree. Was he…? Napping? The gall he had to be napping after without a care in the world. She jumped off her pegasus, yelling and cursing Sylvain’s name. 

"Ingrid?” he wore a confused look on her face. “What are you doing here?” That was the last straw, Ingrid threw her javelin at his head. “Watch where you're throwing that thing! Are you trying to kill me?!" he shouted.

She slapped his face,“You inconsiderate jerk!”

Sylvain grabbed hold of her wrists as she began to pound at his chest, “Hey now Ingrid, calm down!” If anything, his nonchalant attitude drove her anger to new heights. As her mind went blank, all Ingrid could do was yell and shout and fight against his grip. 

“You have no idea how scared I was!” she screamed, doing her best to hold back tears. Sylvain’s eyes widen at her confession. “For a second I thought that maybe you were…”

He pulled Ingrid into an embrace,“Hey, I won’t try to die unless you’re around…” 

How dare he even say something like that right now? The idea of him dying in front of her, it was an impossible thought. To bear witness to his death knowing she was not strong enough to prevent it? 

At that thought, Ingrid finally let the tears trickle down her cheeks. “Damn it Sylvain, you’ve always been the death of me…”

“I’m sorry Ingrid, really. I didn’t mean to worry you.” he brushed a tear away with a free hand, the other arm still wrapped around her. “We were cleaning up after the battle and at some point I just couldn’t stand the smell of blood anymore."

Realizing the position the two of them were in, he finally let her go, “Before I realized it I found myself here and then I was asleep. Next thing I know I heard you shouting and your javelin at my head.”

“Sylvain, you don’t even realize what you disappearing like that did to us do you?” she asked, tears now beginning to dry. 

No reply came. Instead Sylvain stared off into the twilight sky. “He’s doing it again,” Ingrid thought. Recently Ingrid would often catch Sylvain staring off with a faraway look in his eye. Each time she’d try to ask him what was on his mind, her friend would simply smile and deflect with some sort of flattery. 

Finally, he spoke, “Do you ever have days where you just feel completely lost? I can’t find the motivation to keep training. Sometimes I can’t even remember what I’m fighting for,” he looked over at Ingrid, and laughed sadly “What am I saying, I bet a self assured knight like yourself can’t really relate.”

It was shocking to hear him say that, and strangely comforting as well. She wasn’t the only one feeling this way. “...I understand more than you realize,” she replied back softly. 

Sylvain looked at her for a moment, eyes wide and silent as he examined her downcast expression. It was becoming another one of his weird habits. Unless Ingrid would call him out on his, Sylvain would just stay there. Still his silence was better than an unwelcome flirtatious comment. 

Eventually he spoke again, “Remember that day we came here? Dimitiri was sad that El had gone home and we came up with a plan to kidnap him?”

She nodded, “Yes, we had a picnic here and played until Sir Gustave came to drag us back home. Our fathers were not pleased that we had stolen His Highness away from his lessons.”

“Do you remember the promises we made that day?”

“Yes… We swore to Dimitri that no matter what, we would always be there for him. That we would stay together and protect each other until the end.”

“I used to hold onto that promise, it was the main reason I came back to the monastery that day the professor came back,” he sighed, “Ingrid, that might not be enough anymore.”

Ingrid found herself at a loss for words. His voice carried a seriousness about it that was so foreign to her. This could not be just another lecture on his duty as a noble and to his nation, or even simple advice on how a knight was supposed to act. The only thing she could think of was how she just didn’t want to lose another person like she’d lost Glenn. That she wanted to be strong enough to protect everyone she held dear. She wasn’t even sure if she could uphold the old values she believed a proper knight should carry. If her mouth could just form the proper words she needed, she could at least let him know that he was not the only one struggling.

“Sylvain, I‒”

Sylvain’s laugh cut Ingrid off, “Forget about it! I’m just thinking out loud.” 

Her friend got up and walked toward his horse, “It’s getting pretty late. If we stay out any longer the others might start to get the wrong idea about us. Unless…” he winked, “You want to make those rumors the truth?”

She could not help but roll her eyes, “Again with the flirtation! You never stop do you?”

The ride back to the castle was quiet. Ingrid knew that his comment earlier was nothing but an attempt to seal away his true thoughts and she knew it. Despite the guilt she felt, there was nothing she could say to comfort him. Her courage faltered and the moment was lost. 

Mercedes ran up and hugged Sylvain the second they arrived at the castle. Everyone took turns chastising and scolding him saying that his actions were not appropriate for the ‘future Margrave Gautier’. With his signature smile, Sylvain apologized to everyone and vowed to never do something like that again. But from the smile he gave Ingrid during their professor’s scathing lecture she knew his promise was empty and she would inevitably be the one to clean up after him. 

“Ingrid wait!” Sylvain called after Byleth had walked off, “I need to apologize to you as well.”

“You already did,” she said questioningly.

“No, you were right. I didn’t realize what it would do to everyone disappearing like that. I was stupid to not see what it would do to you,” his voice was serious again, just how it was when they sat on the hill, “Ingrid, I’m truly sorry.” 

His voice reverted back to its playful tone, “Now come on, I’m starving! I hear they have a feast for us tonight!” As he walked away Ingrid felt the words she longed to say begin to take shape. She cursed herself for being so slow at this but she could not let the night end without addressing it.

“Sylvain, wait,” she ran up and grabbed his arm, “I myself have doubts that I can truly be a knight.” 

“You? Have doubts on being a knight?” he asked, shocked at the very idea that the knightliest person he knew had thoughts like this.

“Just listen, please,” she sighed, “There are days that I feel lost, but I just don’t want to lose anyone else close to me anymore. It’s why I still fight, why I train so hard. Can that be a good enough reason for you to keep going?”

That strange look on his face appeared once more, what was he thinking right now? Finally he smiled, “So what you’re saying is, you want me to live for your sake? I think I can manage that.”

She laughed, “Why must you twist my words?”

It would be foolish to believe that their issues could be solved so simply in one night. There was no doubt that these insecurities would come to plague them another day but tonight they did their best, and that was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Endings are hard but I hope you enjoyed it :)
> 
> I know that Ingrid is characterized as the ideal knight but some of her supports also mention that parts of her feel lost and confused despite living out her dream. 
> 
> Personally I think that combined with the harshness of war, she and others might become a bit tired and confused. It doesn't mean she doesn't still want to be a knight, its just that sometimes dreams can be complicated for all sorts of different reasons.
> 
> Not sure if I showed that off well enough though haha 
> 
> Oh and I'm a sucker for this ship. In this story, Sylvain's been in love with Ingrid for a long time now and Ingrid is also in love with him but she honestly doesn't realize it.


End file.
